Christmas Morning

6:00 am...It's silent and still looks like night. It's a transitional Christmas. My own children are too old to be fooled by small gifts and the things they want/need are not attainable at this time. The grandkids have too many toys anyway and we were advised not to purchase any. Dennis and I don't need anything. There was really no one immediately to shop for, to give to, and no money to do it with anyway.
I thought, last night as I went to bed, that the magic of Christmas is gone....this morning, however, I still feel it, a tiny flicker inside. They all babble on about Christmas not being about the gift giving and receiving, but it is. Christmas was God's absolute gift. The most prized possession given to people who didn't understand, appreciate or protect it. (Him) Amazing. When my feelings are bruised, it must be a small, small scale of what the Almighty feels daily. I'm glad that He's God.
Silent night...

Christmas Greetings

It's hard to believe that the fall is over and winter is beginning. The transplant is humming along. Dennis' body has accepted his new organ although his mind hasn't quite grasped the fact that he's getting healthier. He still spends most of his days sitting around with cable and the dog as his steadfast companions. It's a question of whether he can do more and won't or if he can't do anything. He's definitely slowed down and it is easy to be frustrated because to look at him--he's the same person, but the dialysis and the commorbidity has definitely taken it's toll. He's been released from the surgeon at IU Med Center and so now he will only see that group twice annually. We are on a quest to find a endocrinologist and an insulin pump. Two eye surgeries (Argon) were successful during the last two weeks. The rest of us are well.

Kristen returned from London Centre in early December. She really enjoyed the experience of a semester abroad and says that she wants to return. She managed to actually come home with a few pence in her account. May wonders never cease.

James has his first semester at Ivy Tech under his belt. It was definitely a learning experience and I'm sorry that I didn't have more time to help him navigate the rigors of higher education. He is changing major and will start EMT training (also through IvyTech) in January to be followed by Certified Nursing Assistant training on his way to perhaps being an RN or Paramedic. He seems to like the medical procedures on television, we'll see how he does when it's real and immediate.

We had a great Thanksgiving with everyone (except Kristen - she missed the festivities by 3 days) together. It was a jam packed time and we barely had time to squeeze in a photo shoot, but did manage one just as Joe, Heidi, Abby and Joey (born Febuary 08) were ready to hit the road back to Fort Worth. I'm always glad for the visual reminders after the event is over. All the grandchildren were a joy Mackenzie 3, Abby 2, Kendall 22 mo, Joey 9 mo, and Cole 5 mo. It was just great fun!

I've finished a crueling semester of grad school (Adult, Higher and Community Education). I knew going in that 4 classes was going to be tough, but with the fall that we had, it was just about impossible. God's grace (and the grace of instructors with deadlines) prevailed. Finished the last paper at 6:28pm of a 6:30pm class. I am truly thankful that it is complete. Spring semester holds my last required course plus an independent study in digital photography and a gerontology course called Guided Life Review. The university will allow grad assistants to take four courses, but I don't want a repeat of this past semester, so am only going three. I'm anticipating a spring graduation. I'm also looking into the online Master Quilting Certificate through Western Kentucky Technical and Community College. I'm developing a sense of adult education/aging baby boomers/life review/softskills making a connection somehow. It must be a God-thing because it doesn't make alot of sense to other people and is definitely a non-traditional route!

Finances are tight, as per usual, and we could have told you that this recession started last year. We aren't doing any traditional Christmas shopping this year because of toy excesses and college aged children needing money more than things. I got my Christmas present this summer in the form of a double porch swinged pergola added to the front of the house. That corner of the house has always looked like it needed "something else" since we moved in (September 2002). So with a few weeks off after the birth of Cole Jackson Gnap in July I strapped on a toolbelt and built my pergola. I would get help from the menfolk after I pitched a fit and pleaded that there was some aspect that I just could not wrangle. Even with all the nay saying during the project it has turned out to be a popular spot for evenings, pit fires and late night gatherings. I'm glad that it's done and look forward to spending alot of time next spring and summer and fall out there.

That's about enough for now. One of my classes on educational planning required a group project and so we used my new division of Studio Pro 31 as a sample. M.U.M (Memories U Make) was devised on the drive to take Kristen to the airport on the way to London Centre. This is a memory quilt studio where quilts are designed and constructed from materials that the customer supplies (t-shirts, loved one's clothing, could be sentimental fabrics, etc). I have my first one on the quilt frame now with another one due to start tomorrow. I hope to start the business in January with clients from local high schools and colleges and perhaps to help cope with grieving for those who have passed on.

Saturday

After a hard, deep sleep, I awoke and dashed about gathering what I thought I might need as well as things Dennis had requested. James decided to stay home and tend to things he needed to do, so I took off for the hospital. I was amazed when I arrived to find Dennis awake and in good spirits and not in the terrible pain that had been expected. He was definitely starting to swell, but his new little kidney was chugging away and what he was taking in was coming on out. Kelly had told our local granddaughters that "They needed to pray for PawPaw because he has gotten a new kidney." The girls started to squeal with delight and only after they settled down was Kelly able to get out of them the misintepretation of "kitty" for kidney. So we decided that we would have to name the kidney or they would be looking for a little bundle of fur and be very disappointed to see PawPaw.

Dennis ate three meals ordered from the hospital's room service and donned his new BSU hat to watch BSU pummel IU. The one down side was that BSU's star player, Dante Love, suffered a devastating injury in the second quarter. BSU prevailed though and the victory was especially sweet. The new pastor arrived in the afternoon and he too was amazed when he saw Dennis and chatted for a brief time, prayed and went to visit another infant patient.

I headed for home again, tired but thankful that the "dreaded second day" had not materialized!
September 20, 2008

Surgery

We went home on Thursday night because the hospital had no beds. After a very short night, we (Dennis, James and I) arrived at the appointed time and started the paper trail that would follow us for the next week. We were taken, by turn, into the staging area where Dennis changed into his surgical attire. James was good comic relief with the snide comments about the classic lack of coverage of typical hospital haute couture. Dennis met with the entire surgery team before the procedure and he walked to the surgery suite and was told to "crawl up on that table"!



James and I proceeded to the waiting area where we were given a sticker with the surgeon's name, a locker, a pager (like Texas Roadhouse) and strict instructions not to leave the area without informing the matron at the front desk of our whereabouts. We promised to comply. We deposited our gear and headed for breakfast. When we returned we noticed the "WiFi" signage, but alas we didn't bring the laptop.....but we did find two computer stations and from those is where the day-of updates originated. James promptly fell asleep and I stayed busy with e-updates and telephone calls. The 90-minute-update-nurse who would trolled the waiting area with reports was a welcomed site. She informed us on things like..."the procedure started at 8:38am" and "the site is ready" and "they have the kidney off of the ice". Just before 12:00 noon our pager announced that the head surgeon was coming. We waited and he didn't really tell us much. The questions I asked were met with gruff rhetorical questions and impertinence...but we hoped what this fellow lacked in bedside manner was countered with expertise with the knife and suture! The demeaning conversation only lasted about 15 minutes and we were dismissed to find some lunch and then move to the 4th floor. Yes sir!



We did, indeed, get lunch and made the wonderful calls that all had gone well and Dennis was not headed for glory! To say it was a relief would be small, but James and I (and actually Dennis) did not feel panic or anxiety. We have to give glory to the Living God and all of the many prayers that have been offered on Dennis (and our) behave for the past 3 years from, literally, around the world!! It was just amazing.



About 2 hours later we got our first glimpse of Dennis. I warned James that he would probably look like "death" and to not be shocked by his appearance. I couldn't have been more wrong. He looked great and that's what James said, "He looks better now that before the surgery." It was true. Dennis doesn't remember much about that day, but he looked healthy and didn't act like he was in that much pain. He didn't lay on the auto-dispense pain medication button and actually talked to us quite a bit (see previous comment). We decided to go home about 11:00 pm and get some rest with the warning from the staff that "tomorrow would be the worst day...with the adjustments to the anti-rejection drugs that had been started, the steroids and the surgery itself." So we headed for home to steel ourselves for what lay ahead. September 19, 2008

The end and the beginning...

What a whirlwind! Dennis got THE CALL on Thursday evening at 5:30 and we were on the road to the med center by 6:00pm. We left home still filled with misgivings about the spiritual, financial and ethical issues surrounding transplants, but as we traveled Dennis said, "I'm really sick of being sick and if I die tomorrow, I'll at least be out of pain." With that said, the questions quieted and we went forward into who knows what. September 18, 2008