In the Gray

2:30 am

Summer School starts later this morning.  A short summer job may start today also, it's not official.  Dennis has an eye appointment.  James starts his third week of childcare for the Gnaps.  Kristen has the day off.  I took a "nap" earlier this evening so I'm off of the sleep cycle and feel like I'm waiting in line for a roller coaster ride....I don't like roller coasters.

The final three weeks of the Spring Semester were a wild ride.  The entire semester was a pretty unpleasant experience.  It did have it's bright spots...I loved my assistant ship assignment.  I learned iMovie and am rapidly becoming a Mac affectionado.  Kendall is recovering from a nasty case of mono.  There were highlights, but the usual degree of satisfaction I receive from academics was not there.  Disappointing, to say the least.  Projects that we hurried to turn in are now back on the "To Do" list.  I hate that.  When I cross something off I want it to stay done....not show up for a redo.  I want it to be working or complete, not somewhere in between.  It's the grayness that's the most frustrating.

So enough whining!  Dennis is holding his own.  People ask me, with deep concern, about his condition and I honestly have to answer that "I don't know."  He seems terrible to me; he's tired, crabby, slow moving, swollen, short with the kids at home, lethargic, falls asleep when you're talking to him,  slow to understand, not monitoring his eating or glucose or bathing....but get him in public or have someone come over and he's the life of the party!  He's upbeat on the phone, loves talking to the medical personnel, he's started running the video camera at church and delivers the DVD's to older church members every other week.  So "how is he?" He's in the gray.  He's not healthy, he's not down and out, terribly sick....I don't know how he is.  Chewy likes him no matter what and his seems to be the only opinion Dennis consistently values.

Wedding  July 2nd 4:30pm  Reception to follow.  Plans are coming along.  Looking for insurance for the reception venue.  This is new since our last wedding, now the renter has to insure the facility??  Strange.  We're trying very hard to be fiscally responsible for this wedding.  Trying not to spend ridiculous amounts of money on silly things.  We're blessed to have family members and friends with resources in the hospitality arena.  We're making it as much of a DIY as possible.  Some of the choices I haven't been on board with, but I'm trying to abide by the motto:  "The mother-in-law should shut up and wear brown."  I have enough to do that I won't have time for opinion voicing.  That's a good thing.

Blogging is a good thing.  I can vent to no one in general and only those who chose to will ever read this.  I'm getting sleepy enough to go to bed and when I wake up I will be in the front seat of the lead car on the roller coaster.  No more waiting, no more gray...in the heat of the moment, in the frenzy of the process, in the "To Do" of the list.  It will be good.  Good night...

James Londt

Holly Taylor