A mad rush of activity around here to make the trip north a reality. The Gnaps left early in the morning with Kristen. James and Holly are driving themselves after her nursing study session and I am doing all the packing, etc to get Dennis moved. I am a bit apprehensive about changing the foot dressing with my RN sister, but I asked many many questions yesterday of Connie and she was gracious to explain the entire procedure and encouraging that I could make it happen. I'm definitely not looking forward to this long weekend, but grateful for the required time spent with family we don't see often. The Texas Londt's had an uneventful flight to Chicago and called as they were picking up their rental car. We eventually left Muncie at the exact time we were supposed to be at the calling. I don't even bother calling anymore....it's just assumed that I, and all those in my car, will be late. Wise family members have started to give me a faux time that is thirty minutes earlier than the actual start time. I know why I do this. It's the history of friendly family gatherings gone bad. I've watched as stupid, irrational drama envelope those I'm closest to causing immense distress and discomfort to all parties and I am powerless to fix the situation. By being late, I am the object of disgust and it keeps family members from picking on each other. It's beyond a perfectionistic time management issue all the way to a martyr complex. Hey, that "Be Your Own Shrink" (Dr. Kevin Lehman) is working!!
So we arrived one hour into the calling and the place was packed. Dorothy's body was acceptable but it really didn't look like she used to. Ed said that the funeral home did a remarkable job with her compared to her last days and he's going to start going to them NOW for weekly makeovers. He's sold! There really weren't many tears. Den's dad (Howard) who passed away ten years ago from a massive heart attack was mourned hard. His passing, being the first and more desirable parent, was tragic to all of us. We had no chance to say good bye or any chance for closure. No one suspected Dorothy's Alzheimer's at that time and we all felt badly that she was left alone. Although she complained about him incessantly, he was her rock and may have hidden her condition, though we don't suspect any ill will on his part. So comparing the two funerals, Dorothy's is definitely more of a life celebration and Howard's was a ripping away of a life.
The funeral home director proved to be the person I suspected. She rubbed my immediate family all the same way and it was not good. I'm glad that I don't have to be the one to deal with her. Ed and Peg seem OK with her so maybe it's just a personality thing. Late evening. The Texas Londt's took some wrong turns and actually arrived after us. We all retired to Albion and River Road. Another universe has taken presidence...not medicine, not grad school, not real life, but death and it's rituals and rules and protocol. I hope Dorothy is pleased with the way we are all conducting ourselves....but I doubt it.
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