Didn't feel like Halloween or Sunday today. Kelly had to work this entire weekend, so my number was called up for childcare for 1/2 a day. I had intended to take the kids to church somewhere, but it didn't happen. We had an enjoyable day though. I got creative with cuisine and they had a "picnic" in the living room. All three kids agreed to take naps with little conflict. I got quite a bit done for a book report even with the childcare underway. You make do with what you have too. Not much time to journal...must push on.
I did find an interesting article that summarizes the discussion that Joe and I had last weekend about higher education and the mentor/mentee relationship. Also, creativity is just about undefinable and even the experts disagree in the same text about what it is. You have to know it when you see it.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
10.30.2010 Saturday Trick or Treat Night
Thoroughly enjoyed the luxury of a sleep in morning. Den's last home health care visit happened today. That's two milestones in one week for him. We had in impromptu brunch with the college aged girls. It was nice to connect with them for the week before the mad rush starts with weekend homework for all three of us.
I became a consumer this afternoon trying to decide on the best model of heat for the Quilt Cottage. I had finally settled on a ceramic floor model when I found the last model from last year sitting alone on the display floor. It is a Franklin Stove wanna be and the model is called the Albion. Hopefully it was a good choice. It was just too weird not to get it.
Kristen took to Halloween decorating with a vengeance. We lit a fire in the fire pit on the driveway and I made a big pot of Chili. Trick or treaters were quite different this year. For one thing they were mostly driven around the neighborhood. There were many bigger/older treaters and it seemed to end very quickly. Gnaps were exhausted so they went home about dark and the remainder of us watched a couple of pits full of wood burn. We all had too much to do, but couldn't be pulled away from the perfect weather, the nice fire and the pleasant conversation. Pictures will be forthcoming, I just don't have time to upload them right now. First Halloween in a long time that I haven't been in costume. That's how hectic this fall has been.
I became a consumer this afternoon trying to decide on the best model of heat for the Quilt Cottage. I had finally settled on a ceramic floor model when I found the last model from last year sitting alone on the display floor. It is a Franklin Stove wanna be and the model is called the Albion. Hopefully it was a good choice. It was just too weird not to get it.
Kristen took to Halloween decorating with a vengeance. We lit a fire in the fire pit on the driveway and I made a big pot of Chili. Trick or treaters were quite different this year. For one thing they were mostly driven around the neighborhood. There were many bigger/older treaters and it seemed to end very quickly. Gnaps were exhausted so they went home about dark and the remainder of us watched a couple of pits full of wood burn. We all had too much to do, but couldn't be pulled away from the perfect weather, the nice fire and the pleasant conversation. Pictures will be forthcoming, I just don't have time to upload them right now. First Halloween in a long time that I haven't been in costume. That's how hectic this fall has been.
10.29.2010 Friday
I learned today that in addition to the G.R.E., grad schools everywhere should require (and pay for) speed reading courses. The exorbitant amount of reading that is required is a known and should be anticipated and dealt with in a head-on fashion. When I'm in the midst of the huge amount of text and articles I tend to have a head on and it's with my head hitting on my desk.
Started my qualitative research project tonight with the first interview. It was pleasant and now to compile the field notes and start transcription. I hope that I'm faster at that than the written word. Couldn't resist the urge to chill.
Found out today that one of my parent's close friends and a role model for me, Agnes Hartman, had passed away this week. We definitely would have paid our condolences if we had known. Some things, like a life celebration, just take precedence over our insane schedules and to do lists. Sometimes it is really hard to decide between best and better.
Started my qualitative research project tonight with the first interview. It was pleasant and now to compile the field notes and start transcription. I hope that I'm faster at that than the written word. Couldn't resist the urge to chill.
Found out today that one of my parent's close friends and a role model for me, Agnes Hartman, had passed away this week. We definitely would have paid our condolences if we had known. Some things, like a life celebration, just take precedence over our insane schedules and to do lists. Sometimes it is really hard to decide between best and better.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
10.28.2010 Thursday
Even with a late start this morning, much was accomplished today. Made some real headway at work, got an important package sent off and learned quite a bit about generational differences in class. I didn't realize that the kids are in two different classifications. Older two are Gen Xers and the younger are in the yet unnamed Gen13. Going through the characteristics of each generation is fascinating. No wonder people in families don't see eye-to-eye. They have totally different lenses and perspectives. I want to read more about that. Den and I took the AQ test tonight and he scored a 17 and I scored an 18. That too is interesting. Adults can score very high on this battery and still function in society.
Den's wound vac was dc'd today. He was happy about that and he's lost 10 pounds from the hospital stay and keeping his eating more in line. Oldest son is not feeling well. He thinks it's a seasonal malady. I hope he feels better after resting tomorrow. I told him to eat hot-n-sour soup (like he didn't know to do that)....he already had. Someday I'll learn that suggestions unsolicited come across as nagging.
Den's wound vac was dc'd today. He was happy about that and he's lost 10 pounds from the hospital stay and keeping his eating more in line. Oldest son is not feeling well. He thinks it's a seasonal malady. I hope he feels better after resting tomorrow. I told him to eat hot-n-sour soup (like he didn't know to do that)....he already had. Someday I'll learn that suggestions unsolicited come across as nagging.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
10.27.2010 Wednesday
This was a productive day. I was given the green light to do the research that is required for Tuesday. This is going to be a mad dash to get all the interviewing and observation in before then. Big presentation on Monday and more publications due on Tuesday night. Research to write for work, for three classes and annotated bibliography to start and keep. I am overwhelmed. I made a path through the library floor tonight at Royal Oak simply because I'm going to have to have the shovel for snow soon. There are empty shelves, just no time to get a cataloging system figured out and implemented. This too shall pass. Paid some bills. made some headway at work, not a great day, not a bad day, just a day on the journey.
Relationships are the most important thing I've got. I tend to forget how important they are and how difficult they are to maintain. I need to take the advise of a high school chum and "do whatever it takes, spend whatever you have to keep your kids close." That's a different kind of goal.
Relationships are the most important thing I've got. I tend to forget how important they are and how difficult they are to maintain. I need to take the advise of a high school chum and "do whatever it takes, spend whatever you have to keep your kids close." That's a different kind of goal.
10.26.2010 Tuesday
Back to life as we know it. Work, school, home. In that order. I know that I have had an overload of theory and not much of it has made an indent in my memory. I'm either going to have to go the flashcard route or else figure out some other way to ingest all of this.
I did discover OneNote today. I had not ever explored this Microsoft product. It looks to be very helpful but the lack of wireless connectivity in AT made the 1 minute video unviewable. It looks like a product I will most definitely use in the spring semester if I can't master it for fall. I actually did get some assignments submitted and even started to read somethings that are due next week. Somehow I'm going to have to by-pass my all-or-nothing mentality and it-must-be-done-in-order study ethic to plow through what I need to read. I can see the merit of audio textbooks. How's come someone hasn't thought of this? That's crazy to let the ears stay dormant when doing internet research.....
Back to stark reality. Den's foot needed some immediate attention. Yet another new Home Health Nurse had not secured the dressing correctly and it had slide around to the bottom of his foot leaving a wound screaming for help in the only way it could through ofactory messaging. I hope it didn't go too long. He is so very close to having this over and done with that I don't want a slip up to cause a major set back. I got the dressing changed in pretty swift order. I am stilled totally amazed and humbled by the fortitude I've been given for all things medical during this semester. Everyone who knows me well is also amazed that I can even be in the same room, let alone the one administering the medical procedure. Holly too had a milestone today with her first live person IV. She did well and even with the tornado sirens blaring she found the vein with one stick. That's a big hurdle for any nursing student.
I did discover OneNote today. I had not ever explored this Microsoft product. It looks to be very helpful but the lack of wireless connectivity in AT made the 1 minute video unviewable. It looks like a product I will most definitely use in the spring semester if I can't master it for fall. I actually did get some assignments submitted and even started to read somethings that are due next week. Somehow I'm going to have to by-pass my all-or-nothing mentality and it-must-be-done-in-order study ethic to plow through what I need to read. I can see the merit of audio textbooks. How's come someone hasn't thought of this? That's crazy to let the ears stay dormant when doing internet research.....
Back to stark reality. Den's foot needed some immediate attention. Yet another new Home Health Nurse had not secured the dressing correctly and it had slide around to the bottom of his foot leaving a wound screaming for help in the only way it could through ofactory messaging. I hope it didn't go too long. He is so very close to having this over and done with that I don't want a slip up to cause a major set back. I got the dressing changed in pretty swift order. I am stilled totally amazed and humbled by the fortitude I've been given for all things medical during this semester. Everyone who knows me well is also amazed that I can even be in the same room, let alone the one administering the medical procedure. Holly too had a milestone today with her first live person IV. She did well and even with the tornado sirens blaring she found the vein with one stick. That's a big hurdle for any nursing student.
10.25.2010 Monday
Heidi and the kids took me to the airport. They all walked me to security and after 4 goodbyes I had a few tears flowing. (I've learned I can get through maybe 2 goodbyes but 4 was too much). The flight to IND was full and I toyed with the idea of volunteering to stand by, but didn't. Rode on a tailwind ahead of tornado's that hit south of Fort Worth. Our ride was remarkably smooth for all the turbulence in the atmosphere. Thank you! The plane was early but the shuttle bus was late. I asked to be dropped at the Belltower and was obliged, so I went to class late with my luggage. The rest of the evening was spent in front of the new dishwasher which Dennis had installed while I was gone. It just took a flick or two of the circuit breakers to give it life. We sat there and debriefed while it ran through it inaugural cycles with an empty cavity. It worked and only dripped a little so one adjustment should bring some much needed efficiency to my life.
Finished the evening sprawled in a recliner even though those 20+ hours of non-studied requirements were still packed into my book bag. Sometimes, you just have to chill.
Finished the evening sprawled in a recliner even though those 20+ hours of non-studied requirements were still packed into my book bag. Sometimes, you just have to chill.
10.24.2010 Sunday
Hotel breakfast where it was discovered that Lizzy is speaking in sentences. She said "Da da ook" and pointed to the Cheerios she had dropped on the floor. Another trip to take advantage of an indoor pool/hot tub and then pack up and head for the north. We found the settlement of Gruene Texas to be quite quaint and the Gristmill Restaurant on the Guadalupe River to be wonderful. We did a short jaunt down the main street but with the 3 youngun's decided against the Clay Festival tents and headed for Fort Worth about 2:00pm. The kids slept most of the way and the adults shared ideologies, theories and personality discoveries most of the way home. It was good to have this time for conversation and rest for those who tired of the dialogue.
A quick stop for Blizzards and Bottom changes and we were on the last leg of the journey arriving at Glenann Drive at 6:30pm. The rest of the evening was recovery time with the kids playing and the adults doing well to stay upright. Watched some of the Cowboys/Yankees football game but we all gave in to sleep rather early. Abby, Joey and I shared the big bed and the kids slept well.
I've learned that when I schedule a trip too far in advance I ruminate on what will happen, how it will happen and the way I'll feel while it's happening way too much. I get this June Cleaver existence scripted and when things deviate from that script I am surprised and often time disappointed. There are no retakes in life and I like to think I'm flexible, but the script that I've embedded in my head is strong and keeps wanting to pull me toward it and I want to take those with me to the shoot. I know the kids need lead time to plan, but I also need time but mine needs to be substantially shorter or my script becomes to elaborate and convoluted to where no character actor could ever follow or perform to my high standards. We all know that June Cleaver died last week and somehow I need to let my script die also. Right now the Thanksgiving 2010 script is forming and it too will be a re-run of disappointment if I can't figure out how to turn it into America's Home Videos or something like it that is not so dramatic, perfect and Hollywood. After all we're not even close to California and the actors aren't union or even paid. We're all fallible people and to adapt the Will Rogers quote "I wouldn't be a part of any script with my name written into it because I will make the show a disaster."
A quick stop for Blizzards and Bottom changes and we were on the last leg of the journey arriving at Glenann Drive at 6:30pm. The rest of the evening was recovery time with the kids playing and the adults doing well to stay upright. Watched some of the Cowboys/Yankees football game but we all gave in to sleep rather early. Abby, Joey and I shared the big bed and the kids slept well.
I've learned that when I schedule a trip too far in advance I ruminate on what will happen, how it will happen and the way I'll feel while it's happening way too much. I get this June Cleaver existence scripted and when things deviate from that script I am surprised and often time disappointed. There are no retakes in life and I like to think I'm flexible, but the script that I've embedded in my head is strong and keeps wanting to pull me toward it and I want to take those with me to the shoot. I know the kids need lead time to plan, but I also need time but mine needs to be substantially shorter or my script becomes to elaborate and convoluted to where no character actor could ever follow or perform to my high standards. We all know that June Cleaver died last week and somehow I need to let my script die also. Right now the Thanksgiving 2010 script is forming and it too will be a re-run of disappointment if I can't figure out how to turn it into America's Home Videos or something like it that is not so dramatic, perfect and Hollywood. After all we're not even close to California and the actors aren't union or even paid. We're all fallible people and to adapt the Will Rogers quote "I wouldn't be a part of any script with my name written into it because I will make the show a disaster."
10.23.2010 Tippey's Wedding
We made preparations for the big adventure to San Antonio (actually New Braunfels) Texas. Heidi had tried a noble experiment and prepared and baked a breakfast Quiche the night before. It worked famously, so we had a tasty breakfast and packed up to go without too much difficulty. Everyone was in high spirits and "You're a Good Sport Charlie Brown" played on the overhead video system. We put Andy the GPS voice through his paces hunting down a luncheon spot. He didn't do a stellar job and after several attempts at better fare we ended up at a Whataburger, which was fine by me because I can't get it at home (my mantra for dining while on the road). We found our hotel which was new and nice and changed clothes and loaded up again to find the wedding. Andy did cooperate this time and we found the homestead where the outdoor, picnic style nuptials were to take place. Tippey met guests before the ceremony and he was wonderfully excited. It was sad news to learn that his mother is in the grips of Alzheimer's and in a nursing facility. My estimation is that she is maybe 58 years old. There was a fitting tribute to her during the wedding. The soon-to-be Dr. and Mrs. Tippey will be residing in Marion, Indiana and looking for work. It was good to meet Rachel and reconnect with Brett. I haven't been called Jomomma for quite a few years, that brought back some wonderful memories.
Many, many children played and romped during the reception. I had fun chasing our three. Heidi had dressed them in coordinated clothing of teal. It is amazing how color can aid in detection of vagrant children off to explore on their own. The only casualties of the event were ant bites on one of Abby's hands and a toddler bite on Heidi's shoulder. We finished the evening off in the chilly hotel pool and perfect hotel hot tub which were both filled with salt water. (a first for me) Abby and I struggled through some float-on-your-back-I-don't-want-to lessons, but hopefully no damage was done. The kids all slept together on a pull out sofa and because of my lumberjack snoring, we endured the night. In retrospect, I should have booked a separate room and maybe taken some or all of the kids in it to give Heidi and Joe a teeny, weeny vacation, but as always hindsight is 20/20. What is a symptom of poor mental health??? Doing the same things and expecting different results. Maybe I will finally learn that people need space and don't like to be stacked too tightly on vacation trips.
Many, many children played and romped during the reception. I had fun chasing our three. Heidi had dressed them in coordinated clothing of teal. It is amazing how color can aid in detection of vagrant children off to explore on their own. The only casualties of the event were ant bites on one of Abby's hands and a toddler bite on Heidi's shoulder. We finished the evening off in the chilly hotel pool and perfect hotel hot tub which were both filled with salt water. (a first for me) Abby and I struggled through some float-on-your-back-I-don't-want-to lessons, but hopefully no damage was done. The kids all slept together on a pull out sofa and because of my lumberjack snoring, we endured the night. In retrospect, I should have booked a separate room and maybe taken some or all of the kids in it to give Heidi and Joe a teeny, weeny vacation, but as always hindsight is 20/20. What is a symptom of poor mental health??? Doing the same things and expecting different results. Maybe I will finally learn that people need space and don't like to be stacked too tightly on vacation trips.
10.22.2010 Friday Trip to Fort Worth
Arrived at the bus stop with time to spare. Pink, squishy overhead bag packed and book bag stuffed full of resources to use to make up way behind homework. I had intended 3 hours on the bus (round trip), 5.5 hours in the IND airport (outbound), 5 hours in the air (round trip), 10 hours in the van to San Antonio (round trip), and various small snippets of time to work, read, send in homework. If my calculations are correct that should have exceeded 23.5 hours of study time over the break. About 4 hours of it were actually spent studying. Hmmmm...maybe I'm on to something!!
Found a bus companion in Jane Patton. She was going to Dallas for a send off party for her son and daughter-in-law. She had inadvertantly booked the wrong dates so it was good that I was there if for nothing more than moral support. We arrived at DFW in good shape. Joe picked me up on his way home from work. Had a great evening with the kids and grandkids. It was so good to see, squeeze and play with them. Watched the student version of The House That Pat Built. The critique was good and not harsh. Watched the Rangers beat the Yankees to advance to the World Series. Pretty exciting. Got to put Lizzy to bed, Joey shared his big bed with me, and I read books to Abby. I slept like the log I was sawing.
Found a bus companion in Jane Patton. She was going to Dallas for a send off party for her son and daughter-in-law. She had inadvertantly booked the wrong dates so it was good that I was there if for nothing more than moral support. We arrived at DFW in good shape. Joe picked me up on his way home from work. Had a great evening with the kids and grandkids. It was so good to see, squeeze and play with them. Watched the student version of The House That Pat Built. The critique was good and not harsh. Watched the Rangers beat the Yankees to advance to the World Series. Pretty exciting. Got to put Lizzy to bed, Joey shared his big bed with me, and I read books to Abby. I slept like the log I was sawing.
10.21.2010 Thursday
I am posted this entry one week later and it's amazing how much you can lose in a week. Class was cancelled this afternoon and you would think that I could seize that opportunity to do some catch up work. It didn't happen because I'm not caught up in any way, shape, or form. Met with one of my instructors and found that she had had a tragic death in her family. She wasn't going to be able to attend the funeral tomorrow in another state. That news really made feel sad for her loss and even sadder at her inability to have attend the ritual that starts the closure process. Here's a great example of where guided life review could have brought the family closer even if there was distance involved. The final two weeks could have been filled with exchange of stories and memoirs that he wanted preserved, but perhaps he was in too much pain and who would ever expect two weeks from diagnosis to death. Sometimes life seems too brutal to endure.
Good note....I did take the granddaughters to their dance lesson (sans their shoes) and taught Dennis how to do the same (in a dire situation). I always get a teeny bit apprehensive before a flight...the ol' "you never know" scenario. I chilled with Dennis through dinner and spent the night pulled in by the media room magnet and that strange glowing box! I did decide to pack this evening rather than chance it in the morning. I have started the Digital Storytelling books that were recommended and am finding information that I hope to be useful.
Good note....I did take the granddaughters to their dance lesson (sans their shoes) and taught Dennis how to do the same (in a dire situation). I always get a teeny bit apprehensive before a flight...the ol' "you never know" scenario. I chilled with Dennis through dinner and spent the night pulled in by the media room magnet and that strange glowing box! I did decide to pack this evening rather than chance it in the morning. I have started the Digital Storytelling books that were recommended and am finding information that I hope to be useful.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
10.20.2010 Wednesday
Wine Tasting, then more Adult Ed Theory
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was an actual Epiphany, but I finally figured out what has been so hard to identify about Adult, Higher and Community Education and Social Justice. I am six years into this social justice, oppressor/oppressed platform and something about has never rung true for me. It wasn't something concrete that I could in fact shake my fist about or organize a protest or march or picket or sing, but tonight I figured it out. Social justice is wonderful, necessary and needed, but for a time. Where the Bible admonishes us to care for the widows and the orphans. Widows are expected to remarry or figure out a way to earn their keep or their former husband's family cares for them. Orphans grow up. You never hear someone say "Hi I'm Larry, I'm an orphan." They are helped when they are in need and then they grow up and move on. They don't stay at the orphanage forever, they move out. The same for social justice. When someone is down and out, they need help and they may need lots of it....but when they have recovered, they should be able to pick up and go on. Now before everyone gets all worked up....this is not a one-size-fits all statement. I know that there are people who for permanently disabled or totally defenseless. Those are not the people I'm talking about. I'm referring to the people who have had a disease or a bad thing happen to them, that can be moved through, cured from and then, they should carry on and help others .... the pay it forward mentality. If that's not social justice then perhaps I'm on the wrong course, but that sits better with my mores and perceptions. I hope it's right....and now I have to help Dennis figure out something he can do for someone else.
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was an actual Epiphany, but I finally figured out what has been so hard to identify about Adult, Higher and Community Education and Social Justice. I am six years into this social justice, oppressor/oppressed platform and something about has never rung true for me. It wasn't something concrete that I could in fact shake my fist about or organize a protest or march or picket or sing, but tonight I figured it out. Social justice is wonderful, necessary and needed, but for a time. Where the Bible admonishes us to care for the widows and the orphans. Widows are expected to remarry or figure out a way to earn their keep or their former husband's family cares for them. Orphans grow up. You never hear someone say "Hi I'm Larry, I'm an orphan." They are helped when they are in need and then they grow up and move on. They don't stay at the orphanage forever, they move out. The same for social justice. When someone is down and out, they need help and they may need lots of it....but when they have recovered, they should be able to pick up and go on. Now before everyone gets all worked up....this is not a one-size-fits all statement. I know that there are people who for permanently disabled or totally defenseless. Those are not the people I'm talking about. I'm referring to the people who have had a disease or a bad thing happen to them, that can be moved through, cured from and then, they should carry on and help others .... the pay it forward mentality. If that's not social justice then perhaps I'm on the wrong course, but that sits better with my mores and perceptions. I hope it's right....and now I have to help Dennis figure out something he can do for someone else.
10.19.2010 Tuesday Abby's 4th Birthday
My learning just about kills me on M-T-W! Going that long and that hard for 16 hours is about too much for this old non-traditional student body. It is what it is. My own attitude toward learning is getting better each week. I am feeling much more comfortable with the TCOM students and enjoying the lectures more. Since many of the grad students were undergrads in this department, they already know the faculty and their styles, etc. Since I don't make great first impressions, I am still in the "what's-this-old-broad-doing-here-anyway" phase. Not the most comfortable, but I'm dealing.
Tuesday evenings' class was the best one yet. I have finally started the readings and the texts are not as daunting as I anticipated. I'm going to have to make myself a "Dummies Guide" but other than that, I'm making progress. It is going to take my full, best effort to pull off this semester. It's like packing a full semester into 8 weeks. I like a challenge and I hate to waste things, so this time is definitely going to used to the fullest.
Hard to believe that Abby is already 4 years old. Seems like yesterday, but it also seems that we've always had her around. Dennis was supposed to call and sing to her but he forgot, so he'll have to make up that homework on his own. I get to see her this weekend, and I hope that I can figure out a great present for her. She is such a sweet little girl with a lot of responsbility. (Same for Mackenzie) Hopefully this Granny can help them navigate the Biggest Sister territory without too many battle scars.
Tuesday evenings' class was the best one yet. I have finally started the readings and the texts are not as daunting as I anticipated. I'm going to have to make myself a "Dummies Guide" but other than that, I'm making progress. It is going to take my full, best effort to pull off this semester. It's like packing a full semester into 8 weeks. I like a challenge and I hate to waste things, so this time is definitely going to used to the fullest.
Hard to believe that Abby is already 4 years old. Seems like yesterday, but it also seems that we've always had her around. Dennis was supposed to call and sing to her but he forgot, so he'll have to make up that homework on his own. I get to see her this weekend, and I hope that I can figure out a great present for her. She is such a sweet little girl with a lot of responsbility. (Same for Mackenzie) Hopefully this Granny can help them navigate the Biggest Sister territory without too many battle scars.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
10.18.2010 Monday
Mind mapping???? How can we map a mind? When we only use 10% of it, shouldn't it be mind exploration? As we keep a list or make a job cloud or connected-with-lines colorful hodge-podge we are using the 10% of the brain and making an avenue for receipt of more and more of the areas of our mind to open and used. Maps are for exploring and going where you haven't been or can't remember how to get back there.
I experienced a new thing tonight. I typically absorb, drink in and welcome any kind of class, training or new idea. A presentation was scheduled on "Body Language". I've heard this before but it's been a while so I thought ... "Why not" I use the refresher and I always share what I've learned at home. I went to the class and was greeted by a smart mouthed young lady at the receptionist desk who flippantly told me where the classroom was located. She didn't realize that if I had known I wouldn't have asked. Another smart mouthed young lady was screaming directions at the 200 or so students who were piling into the room with no chairs. Finally two smart mouthed stand up comics from Indy started the presentation of body language and accused the audience of being stupid or lame or ignorant seven times in two minutes. That was enough. The young man sitting next to me and I looked at each other and said simultaneously "I've got better things to do" and we left at the next opportunity. I believe that this incident was critical thinking in practice. I may actually be getting to the point where I don't believe everything that is "taught" as gospel. I am cataloging enough experience and expertise of my own to make a rational, unobtrusive, personal decision and stand on it. Someday I may even be able to articulate that it in a heated discussion without appearing emotional or irrational. I believe this was a good day. I went home, shut myself in my bedroom, spread my homework around me, moved the modem and laptop to my room so that I would have internet access and worked on the things I think are important. June Cleaver died today and maybe she died at my house too. The dishes are not washed. The bills are not paid. I didn't walk the dog. I did my homework. No one is going to fail this semester except me, so I'm going to address that issue and that will be good.
*I did have to change the foot dressing when Dennis lumbered into my room at 12:30 saying that his foot was "leaking". Hell yes it was leaking, the entire dressing was on the bottom of his foot and the wound was totally exposed! So I had to fix that, but it wasn't going to do any good to scream and yell about it. I changed it and told him to have someone help him put on his socks. I can only address one issue at a time.
I experienced a new thing tonight. I typically absorb, drink in and welcome any kind of class, training or new idea. A presentation was scheduled on "Body Language". I've heard this before but it's been a while so I thought ... "Why not" I use the refresher and I always share what I've learned at home. I went to the class and was greeted by a smart mouthed young lady at the receptionist desk who flippantly told me where the classroom was located. She didn't realize that if I had known I wouldn't have asked. Another smart mouthed young lady was screaming directions at the 200 or so students who were piling into the room with no chairs. Finally two smart mouthed stand up comics from Indy started the presentation of body language and accused the audience of being stupid or lame or ignorant seven times in two minutes. That was enough. The young man sitting next to me and I looked at each other and said simultaneously "I've got better things to do" and we left at the next opportunity. I believe that this incident was critical thinking in practice. I may actually be getting to the point where I don't believe everything that is "taught" as gospel. I am cataloging enough experience and expertise of my own to make a rational, unobtrusive, personal decision and stand on it. Someday I may even be able to articulate that it in a heated discussion without appearing emotional or irrational. I believe this was a good day. I went home, shut myself in my bedroom, spread my homework around me, moved the modem and laptop to my room so that I would have internet access and worked on the things I think are important. June Cleaver died today and maybe she died at my house too. The dishes are not washed. The bills are not paid. I didn't walk the dog. I did my homework. No one is going to fail this semester except me, so I'm going to address that issue and that will be good.
*I did have to change the foot dressing when Dennis lumbered into my room at 12:30 saying that his foot was "leaking". Hell yes it was leaking, the entire dressing was on the bottom of his foot and the wound was totally exposed! So I had to fix that, but it wasn't going to do any good to scream and yell about it. I changed it and told him to have someone help him put on his socks. I can only address one issue at a time.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
10.17.18 Sunday
Forward progress has slowed as bottlenecks appear in the process. A key for me to produce is to have things in order and I am still in the process of establishing binders of printed readings and fellow class mates writings. I have selected a book to read for TCOM610. It was down to 3 and I finally just had to select the one that holds the most promise. Making headway at Royal Oak Drive on organizing and sorting and pitching. A group consensus would be a great help. I am all about collaboration, but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon. We are still sorting newly acquired items from the estate. It's wonderful that the things that remind us of Dorothy are not being disposed of but finding new homes. I need to tell the story of the items to the future generations who see and handle them.
10.16.2010 Saturday
Beautiful, beautiful day! Turned in one assignment in EDSTU650, so I decided to become a traditional student and attend the football game. I went at half time and I hope my presence wasn't the deciding factor because the cheers I was hearing from the yard ended. I did get some papers read while soaking in the sights, sounds and smells of collegiate football on a bright fall day. A nice distraction. Tonight lead to more studying and then the reconnection with a long neglected fiber project. The Grandmother's Flower Garden quilt was brought out and progress was made as I processed more school work mentally. Also some much needed domestic chores were addressed. Laundry waits for no man....
10.15.2010 Friday! Yikes....
The House That Pat Built is technically supposed to be finished today! Instead I have a nail-biting meeting with the station management to find out the future of the documentary. I was so dreading this encounter because I had it "ugly" in my head. I thought it would be thrown into a vault stamped FAILURE! The meeting turned out to be a great solution to my lack of technical sophistication on this project. I hope I haven't thrown Pat and Family under the bus. It sounds like the entire show will need to be re-shot, but it should be showable when finished. What a relief and great solution. Starting to look at more solutions to making up for missing the first month of classes. The lack of catching up is catching up now.
I had an epiphany that I shared with Dennis about my conflict with the prominence of social justice in higher education. I am not against helping people. Good grief, Dennis is living on disability income supplied by the federal government. I just have issues with the way all things have to lead to social justice and people are not responsible for helping themselves. My Bible study of late has also addressed social justice and Jesus' admonition to care for the widows and orphans. Then it hit me....Jesus and his twelve only lived in common for 3 years. They shared everything for a time and then it ended. Widows were expected to marry again, or the husband's family was to care for them or they could find a way to support themselves. The goodwill didn't extend forever. Orphans grow up. Most adults don't introduce themselves as "Hi I'm Bob, an orphan". Orphans need help as children but they don't need hand outs as adults. Social justice and assistance is temporal....until the recipient can regroup, get back on their feet...sort things out. Pretty much the same as the grace I've been shown this semester by all my profs. Time was given to figure things out, to adjust to the new normal, to get my head screwed back on... but that time has passed and now it's time to get it together. That's the goal for the weekend, make some progress.
I had an epiphany that I shared with Dennis about my conflict with the prominence of social justice in higher education. I am not against helping people. Good grief, Dennis is living on disability income supplied by the federal government. I just have issues with the way all things have to lead to social justice and people are not responsible for helping themselves. My Bible study of late has also addressed social justice and Jesus' admonition to care for the widows and orphans. Then it hit me....Jesus and his twelve only lived in common for 3 years. They shared everything for a time and then it ended. Widows were expected to marry again, or the husband's family was to care for them or they could find a way to support themselves. The goodwill didn't extend forever. Orphans grow up. Most adults don't introduce themselves as "Hi I'm Bob, an orphan". Orphans need help as children but they don't need hand outs as adults. Social justice and assistance is temporal....until the recipient can regroup, get back on their feet...sort things out. Pretty much the same as the grace I've been shown this semester by all my profs. Time was given to figure things out, to adjust to the new normal, to get my head screwed back on... but that time has passed and now it's time to get it together. That's the goal for the weekend, make some progress.
10.14.2010 Thursday
Probe #1 due in TCOM 601. I'm apprehensive about this 2 page paper because I don't feel well versed in the topic. The class discussion was good and many views were presented. Not many of them were mine, but it was good to hear other's perspectives. If we only took as gospel that which is in our own heads, we wouldn't grow very much. Conked out this evening. Many options for productivity, but none were selected. Sometimes I just have to stop.
Good news. Den's Wound-Vac should be finished in two weeks. If that happens it will be two entire months earlier than we were told. I'm thinking that medical professionals are told to give the worse case scenario first so that anything less than that is acceptable. This is good to remember when experiencing an emergency....always hold back from the first pronouncement and see what actually happens.
Good news. Den's Wound-Vac should be finished in two weeks. If that happens it will be two entire months earlier than we were told. I'm thinking that medical professionals are told to give the worse case scenario first so that anything less than that is acceptable. This is good to remember when experiencing an emergency....always hold back from the first pronouncement and see what actually happens.
Friday, October 15, 2010
10.13.10 Wednesday
As much as I was "with it" yesterday, I am not "with it" today. My To Do list was long and assuming and I took one look at it and rolled over and pulled the covers tighter. The raininess of the day did not help at all, nor did the state of affairs that has become the norm at our house. The only person picking things up is me. If I don't do it...it doesn't get done AND no one is concerned. I see how hoarders' homes become out of control. They must be surrounded by enabling or at least "do nothings". I would truly appreciate help, but it has been made glaringly apparent that it will never happen. Either I do it or become buried alive with it. It's getting so that I don't want to leave the driveway and have on more than one occasion circled the neighborhood to stave off for a few minutes longer facing the inevitable.
Learning....I learned that I can take a Blue Book Exam and fill the book completely. I learned that it's been many, many years since I've handwritten anything. I learned that I can confess to classmates that I did not understand a concept and that they not only forgave my lack of knowledge, jumped in to share what they thought the concept meant or else commiserated with me their misgivings.
Have received two more "self-help" books. Eat That Frog and another on Discipline. Eat That Frog was a smaller, more visual book than I anticipated, however, it is has much depth and substance camouflaged as fun. I haven't read all the way through it, but I anticipate it being a good read and better study. I've learned that I don't want to compare stories with another student who is in a caregiver role. At this time, I cannot give another ounce to another person. The prof who tried to lash us together, as two souls adrift, failed to realize that tying two drowning people together doesn't make a raft....it merely ties the arms of two people trying to stay afloat, so in essence they will drown faster. Perhaps that was the intent.
I learned that I have no clue what digital storytelling is. The more I read about it, the more confused I continue. My hope is that I can focus on the storytelling aspects with digital applications. I hope I am in the right department. I learned that I have lived through another Wednesday and that it is week 8 of the semester. Mid-term never felt so good!
Learning....I learned that I can take a Blue Book Exam and fill the book completely. I learned that it's been many, many years since I've handwritten anything. I learned that I can confess to classmates that I did not understand a concept and that they not only forgave my lack of knowledge, jumped in to share what they thought the concept meant or else commiserated with me their misgivings.
Have received two more "self-help" books. Eat That Frog and another on Discipline. Eat That Frog was a smaller, more visual book than I anticipated, however, it is has much depth and substance camouflaged as fun. I haven't read all the way through it, but I anticipate it being a good read and better study. I've learned that I don't want to compare stories with another student who is in a caregiver role. At this time, I cannot give another ounce to another person. The prof who tried to lash us together, as two souls adrift, failed to realize that tying two drowning people together doesn't make a raft....it merely ties the arms of two people trying to stay afloat, so in essence they will drown faster. Perhaps that was the intent.
I learned that I have no clue what digital storytelling is. The more I read about it, the more confused I continue. My hope is that I can focus on the storytelling aspects with digital applications. I hope I am in the right department. I learned that I have lived through another Wednesday and that it is week 8 of the semester. Mid-term never felt so good!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
10.12.10 Tuesday 35th Anniversary
Busy, busy day. Woke up 2 hours late. Chauffeured Kristen to class and then bought lunch groceries. Picked up grandkids for Bible Study and did homework through 1/2 of it but listened to the lecture. Had a picnic in the New Castle Park with Kenzer and Coleman. Dashed to Gilbert Street to deliver them, then to Pizza King to meet Den for an anniversary luncheon that didn't go too well. Next to work (late) but made headway on article research, class with TCOM601 and Probe #1 prep...quick trip to the library to prepare visuals for class presentation tonight, wrote summation paper and arrived at class to find a guest speaker. Dr. Chandler was very engaging and the class went by quickly. Good Q and A time afterward and the hurried presentation was for naught. It will be presented next week, which means I'll have to remember what I wrote.
Anniversary greetings and gifts after class. A call to Londt Co found them in good spirits with Heidi having a lovely case of H Pylori something-or-other (ulcers). But she's taking her meds and is feeling better. Joe(boy) will be handling the estate issues with the help of Ed. That's going to be another creative project of doing the right, legal, ethical thing in the best way to benefit all parties. I really don't need another project I know absolutely nothing about.
Have to go to bed. Tomorrow is an equally big day. Just does not seem to be enough hours....how have we gotten so much more busy with more and more conveniences around? I still don't get the basics done like dishes, sweeping and moping.
The day was beautiful just like the day we got married. Sunshine, nice temperature, fall colors were vibrant and people were happy. Would never have thought our lives would take the journey we've traveled. Some of it was bad judgement on our part(s), some opportunities, some responses to bad things happening, some just life....would I do it again? Yes. Would I do some things differently? Yes. Will I make it another year? Yes....
Anniversary greetings and gifts after class. A call to Londt Co found them in good spirits with Heidi having a lovely case of H Pylori something-or-other (ulcers). But she's taking her meds and is feeling better. Joe(boy) will be handling the estate issues with the help of Ed. That's going to be another creative project of doing the right, legal, ethical thing in the best way to benefit all parties. I really don't need another project I know absolutely nothing about.
Have to go to bed. Tomorrow is an equally big day. Just does not seem to be enough hours....how have we gotten so much more busy with more and more conveniences around? I still don't get the basics done like dishes, sweeping and moping.
The day was beautiful just like the day we got married. Sunshine, nice temperature, fall colors were vibrant and people were happy. Would never have thought our lives would take the journey we've traveled. Some of it was bad judgement on our part(s), some opportunities, some responses to bad things happening, some just life....would I do it again? Yes. Would I do some things differently? Yes. Will I make it another year? Yes....
10.11.10 Monday Another day another surgery....
Kelly's gall bladder has been officially excommunicated. It was a virtual quarry of stones and the doctor said that he hadn't seen one this loaded for quite some time. He was not surprised that she had such a bad week prior to the surgery and that she may actually have one more "attack" as a few of the little suckers may have gotten away during the procedure. Here's hoping that they just evaporate. Gr/Gr Cole came for the surgery and post op. Kelly went in at 6:00am and was home by noon. She was in quite a bit of pain, so Gr Cole was her private nurse, which was a very good thing.
Den had an eye appointment and needs "leaky eye" surgery on the 20th. We are the Delaware County equivilant of Gray's Anatomy!! It's all been good thus far. Kelly was coherent enough to talk at 5:45pm when I went to Gilbert Street to check in. She had some good stories to tell. She's glad it's over and ready to feel good again.
I accomplished alot at work today and class a good one about Rube Goldberg and the competition through Purdue. It would be so cool to make one of those. Pat has always wanted to have one as a front door opening devise. Maybe I'll say something to him about it. They definitely need some kind of alert system to announce visitors. I'll post the links when I have my notes handy.
Den had an eye appointment and needs "leaky eye" surgery on the 20th. We are the Delaware County equivilant of Gray's Anatomy!! It's all been good thus far. Kelly was coherent enough to talk at 5:45pm when I went to Gilbert Street to check in. She had some good stories to tell. She's glad it's over and ready to feel good again.
I accomplished alot at work today and class a good one about Rube Goldberg and the competition through Purdue. It would be so cool to make one of those. Pat has always wanted to have one as a front door opening devise. Maybe I'll say something to him about it. They definitely need some kind of alert system to announce visitors. I'll post the links when I have my notes handy.
10.10.10 Sunday
Still riding the wave from yesterday's accomplishments. I truly wished I had 2 more days in the Studio (or Quilt Cottage...I haven't decided on a name) but I have to stop. My turn to teach Sunday School. Psalm 19 is the chapter. More of the class was engaged today. I'm still not sure they understand me, but I keep plowing through basically sharing what I'm learning. I hope they will want to learn for themselves and not totally rely on me.
Den and I met Ed and Jane at the farm. I picked up and picked out some of Dorothy's more recognizable shirts for quilt pieces. My plan is to have a virtual fabric shop where interested offspring may select the fabrics that are special to them. We stayed too long, but it was such a nice day and the conversation was pleasant and we just relaxed for a bit.
Pat was profoundly surprised with the finished quilt. He immediately started to tell the stories of each square to the family members present at the unveiling. I asked him to promise to give me the details of each square for the first Blankie-ography to be published in hardcopy and digitally. A good project to start with...I know many of the stories but not all the details. It will be a good project during the rehab of his knee replacement scheduled for December.
We messed around until most of the light was gone. The kids ended up not being home anyway, so I shot the breeze with Pat and shot the house and grounds with the still camera. He finally saw the spring final version of The House That Pat Built and was again pleasantly surprised. He could see where there was room for improvement, but overall he felt that it was an adequate representation of what he was trying to accomplish. I want/need to get this finished so that I can turn my attentions elsewhere. One more stop on the Noble County tour was at Scott's to drop off a new and improved trombone for Remy. We headed for Muncie with the Wound-Vac protesting loudly all the way back. At 10:30pm it was decided that an emergency dressing change was warranted. It was discovered that the vacuum end had slipped off the wound and was having it's way with the side of Den's foot. Weird! I guess the alarm was doing what it is supposed to do. I have ordered two books on procrastination....they should be coming in the mail....tomorrow!
Den and I met Ed and Jane at the farm. I picked up and picked out some of Dorothy's more recognizable shirts for quilt pieces. My plan is to have a virtual fabric shop where interested offspring may select the fabrics that are special to them. We stayed too long, but it was such a nice day and the conversation was pleasant and we just relaxed for a bit.
Pat was profoundly surprised with the finished quilt. He immediately started to tell the stories of each square to the family members present at the unveiling. I asked him to promise to give me the details of each square for the first Blankie-ography to be published in hardcopy and digitally. A good project to start with...I know many of the stories but not all the details. It will be a good project during the rehab of his knee replacement scheduled for December.
We messed around until most of the light was gone. The kids ended up not being home anyway, so I shot the breeze with Pat and shot the house and grounds with the still camera. He finally saw the spring final version of The House That Pat Built and was again pleasantly surprised. He could see where there was room for improvement, but overall he felt that it was an adequate representation of what he was trying to accomplish. I want/need to get this finished so that I can turn my attentions elsewhere. One more stop on the Noble County tour was at Scott's to drop off a new and improved trombone for Remy. We headed for Muncie with the Wound-Vac protesting loudly all the way back. At 10:30pm it was decided that an emergency dressing change was warranted. It was discovered that the vacuum end had slipped off the wound and was having it's way with the side of Den's foot. Weird! I guess the alarm was doing what it is supposed to do. I have ordered two books on procrastination....they should be coming in the mail....tomorrow!
10.09.2010 Saturday in Studio
Friday, October 8, 2010
10.08.2010 Friday Hurrah.......
Glorious weather, great off-the-pace day. No bad news, accomplished alot, gearing up for a busy, busy weekend. Good week, great ideas coming together. Inspired and need to focus the inspiration into something pallet-able. Hope to barricade myself in the Studio and hammer out some old projects that are lingering and bottle necking the flow of accomplishment. If I could get the library put together that would help alot. Good week, have to keep up the pace. Have to get the "House" documentary fixed....have to get that moved off the plate since it is an entire tray by itself.
10.07.2010 Thursday
Learned about Endnote a fabulous product that magically formats, sorts and organizes works sited in academic writing. The pace of the library lecture and the misfortune of having a version of the software on my laptop that did not match the illustrated version of the instructor slowed my comprehension and progress in mastering this most necessary of software packages. Used what I know about it this afternoon to really hit the research aspect of a journal article for work and finished out the academic day with the last class of the week. I'm making acquaintances in TCOM and that is great to make connections. Maybe I can help them and they can help me. I value the knowledge of fellow students a lot! (see yesterday's post also)
Dennis went to the doctor alone yesterday and started driving the truck the day before. His wound is not totally healed, but it appears that he cannot sit in the chair for any longer. I hope this to be a good thing.
Kristen and I took time that we did not have and journeyed to the Muncie First Thursday Art Walk. It was crowded and diverse and interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed an exhibit at the 308 studio. It was an Art Quilters' walls of pieces. Lots of inspiration and ideas floating around in my head. It makes me think it would be much more lucrative to be creating than learning....maybe I can do both...and one obsession will fuel the other. Again, with the crash-n-burn but with a different group of relatives. Probably sleeping too much, but enjoying every horizontal minute of it. Tomorrow is a mini spa day with hair cut, massage, one-on-one EndNote training and the HDV camera checked out. Yippee!
Dennis went to the doctor alone yesterday and started driving the truck the day before. His wound is not totally healed, but it appears that he cannot sit in the chair for any longer. I hope this to be a good thing.
Kristen and I took time that we did not have and journeyed to the Muncie First Thursday Art Walk. It was crowded and diverse and interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed an exhibit at the 308 studio. It was an Art Quilters' walls of pieces. Lots of inspiration and ideas floating around in my head. It makes me think it would be much more lucrative to be creating than learning....maybe I can do both...and one obsession will fuel the other. Again, with the crash-n-burn but with a different group of relatives. Probably sleeping too much, but enjoying every horizontal minute of it. Tomorrow is a mini spa day with hair cut, massage, one-on-one EndNote training and the HDV camera checked out. Yippee!
10.06.2010 Wednesday
Much better day than yesterday. Got a little more organized, got a little more done, got a little more school under my belt. The S.O.S. group met (Students Offering Support). That is such a vital group to the learning that occurs in Adult, Higher and Community Education at BSU. Granted there are fabulous classroom lectures and discussions and more reading than you can shake a stick at, but I gain the most from hearing the stories of those who have gone before or are just ahead of me in the process. I value experiential learning greatly and having a nice cup o' Joe and hearing about successes or places to sidestep are wonderful things. We are trying to meet the first Wednesday of the month in the dining area to the east (toward McKinley) of Jamba Juice in AJ. It's informal, friendly and come-as-you-are and share your fears, questions and answers. Wednesday night class and then crash-n-burn when I got home. I have got to keep my carcass out of the media room. The "slow glow electronic sex in the window" (Christmas Story major award) can still be translated to the TV in our house. I become as helpless as the chicken with the chalk line drawn in front of it's beak on the ground. I have to resist the urge to stop and keep going at least another couple of hours to make this semester work. Arghhhhhh....
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
10.05.2010 Tuesday
O-v-e-r-w-h-e-l-m-e-d! Too much to do in too little time. The time I spent with the family last night is biting me in the baatootie today. I am really trying to figure out what to drop from my TO DO list and nothing is volunteering....phooey. Mackenzie and Cole were excited to go to BSF so I'm glad that I didn't ditch that activity. Kenzer's nose was so runny and her cough was juicy enough to keep her out of her group, so she and I spent the sharing time in the lobby, but it was a good time for the two of us. During our drive through at Burger King, we decided to use a lunch box and pack for the kids. That should be fun and healthier. It will be a challenge to find warm and filling lunches for winter time trips. We'll see what we can do.
James' knee injury from last night is still hurting. I am hurting also today. I drug myself to work this afternoon. Not motivated....tired and uninspired. Made it through the day and through the class and am slowly catching up or at least lining up the projects that need to be completed and am starting to rank them in order of need. Perhaps the overwhelmed will become merely whelmed soon!!
James' knee injury from last night is still hurting. I am hurting also today. I drug myself to work this afternoon. Not motivated....tired and uninspired. Made it through the day and through the class and am slowly catching up or at least lining up the projects that need to be completed and am starting to rank them in order of need. Perhaps the overwhelmed will become merely whelmed soon!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
10.04.2010 Monday
It's working! Mastering this blogging software (sorry, I just found the spell check feature, I will have to backtrack to proofread) and trying to capture thoughts and experiences from the past six weeks has led to a new habit of journaling consistently. I'm zeroing in on things to record and noticing thoughts that may be noteworthy.
This morning after taking the mammoth quilt from the dryer and doing the final thread snipping, I realized that every quilt has a process in the "birthing" process. The excitement of the idea conception, the attention to the nurturing of the design and accomplishment of the piecing, the drudgery of the machine quilting when the mistakes are glaringly apparent and the worry of whether the finished produce will be accepted or rejected, the point where I always want to give up from discouragement or the realization that the piece before me does not come close to the vision in my head/heart, the final push to just complete the dumb thing and that whatever comes, the search from family members for critique with hope for approval or even applause, the commitment of the new life to the washer/dryer for a good cleaning of the creation process and finally the look, feel, smell of the newly born quilt as it emerges from the dryer with the flaws not so apparent and the warm folds welcoming, the history recorded and it ready to be folded gently and placed into the arms of the new owner to be cherished, hopefully for as long as they both shall live.
This morning I was thinking that it would be great to eliminate that middle-to-last stage where I hate the project, am thoroughly discouraged with my abilities and the look of the piece in general and skip right to the end where the satisfaction and the burning desire to do-it-again ignite, but I now realize that this isn't possible and that it's the process ... and the going through it.... that make the end result so delicious. Without the low there is no high. Without the struggle the satisfaction is diminished. Without the success there is no future attempts.
This morning after taking the mammoth quilt from the dryer and doing the final thread snipping, I realized that every quilt has a process in the "birthing" process. The excitement of the idea conception, the attention to the nurturing of the design and accomplishment of the piecing, the drudgery of the machine quilting when the mistakes are glaringly apparent and the worry of whether the finished produce will be accepted or rejected, the point where I always want to give up from discouragement or the realization that the piece before me does not come close to the vision in my head/heart, the final push to just complete the dumb thing and that whatever comes, the search from family members for critique with hope for approval or even applause, the commitment of the new life to the washer/dryer for a good cleaning of the creation process and finally the look, feel, smell of the newly born quilt as it emerges from the dryer with the flaws not so apparent and the warm folds welcoming, the history recorded and it ready to be folded gently and placed into the arms of the new owner to be cherished, hopefully for as long as they both shall live.
This morning I was thinking that it would be great to eliminate that middle-to-last stage where I hate the project, am thoroughly discouraged with my abilities and the look of the piece in general and skip right to the end where the satisfaction and the burning desire to do-it-again ignite, but I now realize that this isn't possible and that it's the process ... and the going through it.... that make the end result so delicious. Without the low there is no high. Without the struggle the satisfaction is diminished. Without the success there is no future attempts.
10.03.2010 Sunday
10.02.2010 Saturday
Nice weekend Saturday. Nothing big going on. Still trying to catch up from the drama of the past month. Worked on the commissioned quilt, cooked, finished the catch up of this journal and spent the morning mastering the slideshow feature of Picasa. This may not seem like much but for family members this one simple task can have big implications.
I made an amazing discovery about myself last evening. We zoned out on reality tv shows that Kristen follows, Chopped and Project Runway. By flipping back-and-forth between the shows to avoid commercials, it dawned on me that it is the oppressor/oppressed scenario that is manifested in these programs that is troubling to me. I do not enjoy being a part of that encounter, even as a spectator. It's even worse to have absolutely no control, say, or even a hope of rescue. To a "fixer" personality such as I am, it is sheer torture to watch helpless victims (though they are voluntary) struggle through the exercise of trying to please an unreleasable over-lord. It is agony for me and also agony to think (and sit next to) the millions of viewers who enjoy this type of entertainment. It leads me to speculate that if the Lion Feeding spectacle of the Roman Age were to be promoted, they would be a big hit and probably be the hot ticket item with the scalpers! This doesn't give me much hope for mankind when I am of the minor few who don't enjoy/follow closely this type of programming. It doesn't matter the reality show from Dancing with the Stars to Survivor...the activity is the same.
I made an amazing discovery about myself last evening. We zoned out on reality tv shows that Kristen follows, Chopped and Project Runway. By flipping back-and-forth between the shows to avoid commercials, it dawned on me that it is the oppressor/oppressed scenario that is manifested in these programs that is troubling to me. I do not enjoy being a part of that encounter, even as a spectator. It's even worse to have absolutely no control, say, or even a hope of rescue. To a "fixer" personality such as I am, it is sheer torture to watch helpless victims (though they are voluntary) struggle through the exercise of trying to please an unreleasable over-lord. It is agony for me and also agony to think (and sit next to) the millions of viewers who enjoy this type of entertainment. It leads me to speculate that if the Lion Feeding spectacle of the Roman Age were to be promoted, they would be a big hit and probably be the hot ticket item with the scalpers! This doesn't give me much hope for mankind when I am of the minor few who don't enjoy/follow closely this type of programming. It doesn't matter the reality show from Dancing with the Stars to Survivor...the activity is the same.
Friday, October 1, 2010
10.01.2010 Friday New Beginning
Have been looking forward to this day for the entire week. A day to make a new beginning. Weighed in. I don't really want to come out by 241 it is. I met with my advisor and she has just come off of a successful stint with Weight Watchers and is at the 140 mark. That's where I need to be. This is absolutely insane to take on one more life altering activity, but I don't think that this can wait. (sorry about the pun). Investigating the WW on-line option, but I think for this kind of struggle I'm going to need a community of support with some "skin-on" although the on-line version is tempting especially if there is daily accountability and encouragement.
Feel very good about class this week and the doubts have quieted down. Going over my course plan with a December 2012 graduation goal makes it easier to visualize. That is going to be agressive but doable. This, hopefully, will fulfill my bargain to graduate with Dennis in the audience instead of pushing up daisies. He seemed withdrawn if not depressed this afternoon. I caught him again, sans crutches, trying to walk to dog and he didn't like being held accountable for not protecting his foot. We went to the neighborhood Pizza King and talked alot about higher education and life long learning and how to stave off stagnation. He seemed engaged and maybe actually contemplating (again) what he could be doing with his idle life. I should be quilting, but decided to try to knock out the back log of this log. I'm getting close and appreciate being forced to conquer this blogging software. I need to figure out the slide show feature and then I'll be good to go even after this semester's learning is history. Good week. No drama....no llama drama.
Feel very good about class this week and the doubts have quieted down. Going over my course plan with a December 2012 graduation goal makes it easier to visualize. That is going to be agressive but doable. This, hopefully, will fulfill my bargain to graduate with Dennis in the audience instead of pushing up daisies. He seemed withdrawn if not depressed this afternoon. I caught him again, sans crutches, trying to walk to dog and he didn't like being held accountable for not protecting his foot. We went to the neighborhood Pizza King and talked alot about higher education and life long learning and how to stave off stagnation. He seemed engaged and maybe actually contemplating (again) what he could be doing with his idle life. I should be quilting, but decided to try to knock out the back log of this log. I'm getting close and appreciate being forced to conquer this blogging software. I need to figure out the slide show feature and then I'll be good to go even after this semester's learning is history. Good week. No drama....no llama drama.
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